Points to Ponder before getting married

Whether it is arranged or love marriage, we need to understand that 2 very different people are getting together for life, (No one gets married thinking of separation or divorce) and sparks are bound to fly eventually.

Things that we’ve taken for granted before marriage or were never paid any importance, or seemed ‘cute’, become huge and unbearable after a certain point.  Some things are better to be discussed before tying the knot so that a solid foundation is built with your other half.

Children

We all have our own idea as to what kind of life we want to have; however, since you are about to spend your life with someone, it is always better that both of you are on the same page.

• Whether both of you want children or not.
• If the answer is yes then how many do you want?
• How would you plan your family?

Nuclear family or Joint Family

It is all very vague as how life will be post marriage! We need to get clarity on it.  Whatever your expectations are, be vocal about it; if you hesitate now and eventually it does not work out as per your expectations, then you will have no other option but to suck it up and live.

• Whether parents will live full time with you guys? Or would they come for few months to stay over?
• Is it going to be a nuclear family with just the two of you?
• Whether relatives from hometown living at our place be a regular occurrence?

Career Priorities

It is important for both of you to discuss your feelings about your respected careers and how you envision moving forward.  As a woman, it is always advisable that gender equality means equality everywhere, which means both should earn and bring home moolahs for a better living. However, the ultimate decision lies with you. The following questions are some points that need to be discussed before entering the matrimony.

• What happens if your or your partner’s job requirements need you to relocate?
• How will you support one another if one of you gets laid off, or wants to change careers?
• What are your partner’s feelings if he has to be the sole earner of the family and you don’t want a career?
• How would the division of labor happen at home if both of you are working?

Religion/Praying

What happens if you are not religious at all and your partner’s family follows every ritual to the T and expects you to do the same? Or, what happens if both of you follow different religions, whose religion will get preference after marriage and what religion will the kid follow once she/he is born?

Share your thoughts and get input from your partner as well, as, if left un-discussed, this might end up being a huge cause of domestic disturbance.

We cannot plan everything in life and cannot expect that there will be no arguments after marriage. No matter how similar 2 individuals are, they’ve had different upbringings and have different points of view; so arguments are bound to happen at one point of time or another. However, these above discussions are essential so that those arguments are limited to few and every day is not a war zone at home.