Are You Ready To Be A Mom?

This question has been haunting me since I accidentally watched the video where a young woman is beating the bejesus out of a kid just because she is unable to count from 1 to 5.

This is a cruel video (which we have not posted here for obvious reasons), in terms of the fact that the kid is a tiny thing and she has a right to be confused. Any grown up will also get confused if someone is breathing down their neck and slap him/her around if the answer coming out of his/her mouth is incorrect.

Although clarifications are floating around on the World Wide Web from the family of the child that she is exceedingly naughty and pays heed to studies only when she is disciplined. I still believe that children cannot be punished such mercilessly especially when she is only 3 and her brain is not yet completely developed for math.

Many parents belong to the school of thought that there is no harm in giving a few smacks to the kid for disciplining, as we have grown up with occasional slaps. True! We have! And the generations before us also have! In their parents’ defence, yes they have slapped their children around for basic studies. However, the children during previous generations had it much better. Along with studies, they had ample time to play to their hearts content, they were surrounded by other family members in addition to their parents (joint family system), and so they were indulged in enough love and affection. Most importantly… the competition to be the best in Academics was not eating away at them from inside every moment. Kids in previous generations had a happy and a content life.

Nowadays it is a different story. As seen in that video, the kid is merely 3 years old and is already been pressurized to do something that will probably make her the best in class.  We cannot take away all the privileges that the kids from the previous generations had but continue with the whacking and expecting today’s kids to be the best at everything.

The other side of the story is – parents who have kids when they are not ready end up being frustrated.  Competition is too high and nerve wracking for both kids and parents. Also add in the fact that if the kid does not excel at every freaking thing, he/she is thrown into, it is a sin for the child and a butt hurt for the parents’ ego.

To avoid burnouts and frustrations of parents, which end up becoming a pain for the child, we must decide first that are we ready to become parents? Can we really take care of a child and be there for him/her by giving our 100%. Below are few pointers to think about before going ahead and planning an addition to the family.

You are ready for a child – “Beta humare marne se pehle pota poti ka mooh dikha do” OR “It’s been 5 years since your marriage, it is time you have a child now” OR “what will people say”… and so on. I am sure people who have decided to wait to have a child must have heard some form of the above-mentioned sentences. Well… giving into family and society pressure and having a child does not benefit anyone.  More often than not a child born out of familial pressure, puts unnecessary pressure on the marriage/partnership as well.

Strong support system –It is not a one-person job if both partners are around and both will have to pitch in. It is not a part-time job. 100% and more is required. Also quiet important is financial stability. One cannot be thinking about how I will feed my kid or how will I get her medicines or get her to school. If I am bringing a child into this world then I must be prepared to give the best of what I can.

Emotional stability – A lot of people think that adding a little human to their lifestyle would elevate their status and give them a ‘yummy-mommy’ or a ‘cool dad’ image. However, we must remember that the child will have needs and demands that though they may seem unreasonable to you but is of paramount importance of the kid. Meltdowns and tantrums will happen. Sleepless nights, test of patience, feeling of hopelessness is common, but we must understand that a life is dependent on us so are we emotionally stable to handle such things and is our patience level on point?

Only and if only you and your spouse/partner believe that all these things are in place, then you know you are ready to bring a child into this world and not because it looks cute or family is pressuring or who will take care of us when we are old…

Image courtesy – http://www.ndtv.com (main image), TOI, https://autodo.info/