Helicopter Parenting – A BIG No No!!!!!

Being a parent is not an easy job. You have to bring up a little human being and make sure they have the best of everything. Every day is a challenge of teaching and learning, of securing and letting go. You carefully teach your child to perform the simplest to the comparatively difficult chores of life, but then you have to let them do those themselves. How else would they learn?

It is gut wrenching watching your child struggle with some of the seemingly simple tasks and you want to go to their aid. You want for them to not struggle at tasks like putting on clothes, opening and closing of lids, carrying bags, eating with a spoon or fork etc. As a parent I have wanted to run to my son’s aid, but I don’t do that. After I have taught him how to do something a few times and done the things with him a hold back when he tries to attempt to do these tasks by himself.

The constraint to not run to help him isn’t easy at all. At times I just feel that he takes too much time doing a simple task and I would finish it in a matter of seconds, it is a test of my patience to not do those things myself. The first instinct is to do it myself and get it over with but then I remind myself that as a parent I want my child to be able to handle challenges in life on his own. I want him to be strong enough to try and try till he succeeds and not be the kind that expects to be handed over things on a platter. Even if for now it is for seemingly menial tasks.

Building a child’s character starts from a very young age.  I believe if a child gets the assistance of the parent in everything that s/he does then the passive attitude would set in eventually.

Since we shifted our home recently, I tasked my child with helping me setting up his room right from folding his clothes to segregating toys and storing them. Not only does this inculcate a feeling of responsibility in the child for his belongings but also challenges him to do tasks that aren’t easy for his age. It is also a very fulfilling experience for the child, a feeling of achieving something while setting up the room.

I do make sure that he knows I would be there in case he isn’t able to complete a task, however he also has to first fully attempt it on his own. I do believe that this would build a strong and independent individual character. Parenting is after all about choosing what to pass on to the child with trial and error and individual practices. This is one practice I swear by, which has definitely made him more independent and responsible already.