Changing the mind-set!

It’s all in the mind, say the wise people. We claim to be modern but do we really know what comes with ‘being modern’. It’s not about wearing shorter clothes and gyrating to western music, being modern is about changing our mindset. It’s about growing from within and accepting what’s around you.

Although I am a mother and I know there is no greater joy other than a sweet smile and a tight hug from your child, but being modern I also understand the predicament of women who do not want children. I know that practicality rules them and they are as it is fighting an internal battle with their hormones telling them to have children. But what does society do to such women? They isolate them and pressure them. They make these women feel lesser about themselves. I honestly do not believe that Motherhood ‘completes’ a woman. A woman is complete within herself and no external (or internal in this case) person can complete the woman.

It is time for the society to change and accept that there are things more than households and children than women may want to do. It should be the woman’s choice entirely whether she chooses to be a mom or a career woman or both. It pains me to see so many women around me pressurized by family and friends to go the family way though they have decided not to. Sadly the judging continues. A few weeks ago I was judged for sending my child to day-care while I work. The battle never ends it seems.

Since I am primarily writing about women and their trials, one of the worst stigmas that women have to go through is losing their husband. The pressure that the society puts on these women about dressing and behaving is beyond acceptable! I have seen some of the seemingly ‘modern’ families exclude widows from most celebrations and happy moments. These women are restricted from doing some of the most regular human things. I remember buying jasmine flowers for my mom-in-law just after my marriage. Her reaction was that of fear of accepting those flowers and wearing them in her hair. She believed she wasn’t supposed to. My mother did not attend a few wedding initially after Dad passed because she wanted to avoid the trauma of exclusion from ceremonies that would be inflicted upon her during the weddings. Women are themselves fed with beliefs that are beyond any logical explanation.

Coming back to being modern; How is it that we proclaim ourselves to be modern then? Just because we can speak English, wear western clothes and eat pastas for dinner? No. That’s all superficial. Being ‘modern’ has nothing to do with being ‘western’. I have seen some of the people who exhibit modern facade having the most conservative view of things. I have also seen a few of those who are traditionally turned out exude most contemporary outlook.

So it’s about what’s in the mind. It’s about being gracious enough to accept that people may have different choices in life and different perspective on the same matter. It’s about holding your ground while accepting that people may have a different set of beliefs.  We have the luxury of information and science today to add logic and reason. We are better than ‘Bhed Chaal’. Let’s work on how we think. Let’s accept. Let’s move on.