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Raising Teens…!!!

A time comes in every parent’s life when their young ones get older and you begin sharing a special bond of friendship. You begin to seek their opinions, respect their advice and on occasions, trust them for fashion tips as well.

Yet, the path here need not be full of roses. Problems and issues are a part of growing up and with these experienced tips, you may well be able to handle those ups and downs along with your child, in the best possible way.

Avoiding Uncomfortable Talks: Adolescents have a lot of questions and most parents refrain from sharing the much needed information. Instead, try and answer your teen with relevant details keeping in mind the age factor. It could be a girlie thing or boy’s issue, puberty or sex related topic, substance abuse or a family situation. Remember, you are your child’s best and trusted source of information. Never refrain from giving out apt information, either by having a long conversation or spread it over a period of days.

Not coaching them About Relationships: Talks of a boyfriend or a girlfriend are taboo in most Indian homes and kids don’t take that too well. There have been instances of rebellion, eloping and even suicide attempts by youngsters whose love was opposed. To avoid all that, it is better to speak openly about your expectations in matters such as these. Let your child know that you don’t oppose ‘love’ but are concerned about their well being. You must also make your child understand the depth of relationships and explain the meaning of a commitment to them. It is far better to speak to your children and stay ahead of the game, even before they start dating rather than regret later.

Worrying about the Wrong Stuff: Its normal for parents worrying for their children due to concern but instead of putting all our energies into worrying about their daily activities, we need to look at the bigger picture and think about what our teenager should be like at the age of 25 and then mould him/ her accordingly. Doing so helps parents focus on what’s really important and what’s missing in their parenting.

Focusing too much on their Looks: Hygiene and being presentable is important and should be a part of your child’s daily life but it is important for parents not to focus too much on their teenager’s appearance. As long as they are within a normal weight range, do not poke them constantly as it sends a negative message saying “you are not good enough” which hamper their mind-set permanently.

Putting your Partner Down: No matter what, never put your partner down in front of the kids. Doing so not only shocks them but changes your partner’s image for them and that may affect their behavior towards both the parents and may also leave them scarred for life.

Expecting Kids to be like you: Most parents love the fact that their children look just like them and that’s not bad at all. What is bad is, parents expecting their children to behave like them! Accept who your child is rather than expecting him or her to get your nature, traits and mannerisms. Except the differences with an open mind and heart and enter into their world of interests, perspectives and tendencies.