How we gifted our kids their step-parents

How our lives were shattered when our son loved our extra marital partners more than us!

It was a world of back to back movies, frequent outings and parties and being carefree. Office was wonderful and even if there were issues, then there was a plan A, a plan B or even a plan C readily available. Life was smooth as couple till we became parents. Our son entered this world and our world changed overnight. Grandparents became the most sought after people, diapers replaced movie tickets, vaccination trips replaced outings, plan B and C disappeared under the pressure of responsibilities and green coloured potties ushered in the realm of parenthood.

Alas, after so many years of this change management, we helplessly watched our kid being swayed by our extra marital partners and the soon-to-be step parents. This is how it happened.

The couple time had dwindled, parental duties often led to friction and discord, office pressure and stress played a huge part and we found solace in our partners. They listened, entertained, made us happy and for those moments we forgot the tension in our lives. Initially when it started, we all thought it was for the good. The best part was that our son adopted our new partners much sooner that we had envisaged. We thought we were forward looking parents and it was necessary to be transparent with our kids unlike our parents who had a very private and a far too disciplined life. He played us shrewdly, pitting us against each other and eventually managing to spend more time with the stepmother and the stepfather.

As I observed and looked around, it wasn’t just me. All my peers, colleagues and friends had their respective partners. Many frequently changed their partners and flaunting their prized trophy at every opportune moment. But the way our kids caught on with these know-it-all partners/parents was slowly but surely making the natural parents anxious, irritated and sad.

My partner was cool, calm and understanding always: Hardly she threw a fit. There were occasions when she would flare up and become hot but such moments were far and few. With us, our son had to endure my frustration post office hours and his mother’s depression phase that included food based warnings. He was always a fussy eater or maybe as parents of today’s generation we made him one by running behind one with that elusive spoon of food. However, with our partners around, the running stopped and munching started. We were happy that at least he was eating his food.

But soon it turned into blackmail! No partner = no food.

Our partners were knowledgeable and entertaining: The school homework and activities started taking a toll in our already crippled couple relationship. There were interesting yet time consuming projects to be completed. It was too taxing for the brain to come up with innovative ideas and this is where we sought their help. They were forthcoming and as always reliable. They helped us and before soon out manoeuvred us from the scheme of things. Our son not only relied on them for projects for his projects but also for his guitar lessons and other projects related to singing and dancing.

Parents were now just an ‘official’ relationship.

They literally played games: They loved to play games with our kid. Initially we even loved it and at times we played together. However, it got uncomfortable when we realised that it wasn’t just weekends when we played these games but also week days and that too long hours in the night. Whether it was candy crush or subway surfer or new games that were being downloaded, our son had an insatiable appetite. He now looked at us as the medium to reach out to our partners to play, spend time with, eat and live his life.

We were being outplayed by now.

We realised our mistake. Our son was literally being snatched in front of our eyes and it was our own lazy, selfish attempt at being a parent. It was important to take some harsh decisions.

Gradually we weaned him away by listening to him, talking about his interests, not being judgmental about anything and working on our own relationship. It was incredibly tough to keep away the partners who begged us for their affection and reminded us of our relationship through various means. They used variety of software and Apps to create emotional programs, exciting videos and caused many a slip-up in our resolution to stay away from them. However, our love for our son overpowered the temptations and we started giving him that one thing that he always wanted – Time.

The funny part is that in this journey we were hooked up with partners who weren’t even from India. My beautiful partner was Chinese and her name was Xiaomi while my wife’s partner was an American called Apple.

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