Good touch Bad touch – Preventing Child Sexual Abuse

Child Sex Abuse is a cruel and sad reality and we can teach our children some basic safety rules for their protection. Parents find it rather uncomfortable to talk to children about this; but because it is difficult it becomes even more important for parents and teachers to discuss this with the child!

What are included in Child Sexual Abuse (CSA)?

• Fondling/touching/kissing of genitals and other areas of the body
• Penetration with penis, digit or object
• Exposing genitals or sexual material to child
• Talking to a child inappropriately, graphically and explicitly about sex
• Asking a child to touch their or another person’s genitals
• Non-forced sex with an underage child

The Talk

Bad Touch – Any touch that hurts the child or makes her/him uncomfortable is bad touch! Children must be taught that they have the right to say ‘NO’. We need to tell them that safety is more important than good manners! They need to know that sexual abuse touch can also happen with their clothes on.

Designated Trustworthy Adult – The child should know that he/she can trust this adult with information no matter what happens. This will negate the blackmail issue many abusers use. Preferably this trustworthy adult should be one of the parent or a teacher.

Good Touch – Good touch is touch that feels safe – or touch that makes us feel warm and makes us smile. Talk about how, on rare occasions, parents and doctors might have to do something they won’t like, but it keeps them safe and give them examples – like getting a shot at the doctor’s office, or being given a bath when the child is sick.

Safety Tips for Parents

• The child must have her/his parents’ number and a number of another trusted adult at all times with her/him.
• Teach your child the buddy system – walking home from school/playground/tuition in pairs or groups
• In case you employ a nanny or a baby sitter; do a thorough background check before allowing her/him in the house and close to your child

As a parent watch out for adults who,

• Insist on physical affection even when the child looks uncomfortable
• Make you feel uneasy even if you cannot understand why?
• Your child or other children do not want to be alone with the person
• Buy children expensive gifts for no apparent reason
• Insist on a ‘special time’ alone with children

NOTE: It is NOT the child’s fault if things do go sideways! He/she needs to understand that and know that he/she is still loved by parents and other loved ones family and friends!