Being Unkind…

Often people you meet, especially friends and relatives, say things that may be hurtful and bitter. Sometimes these words are intentional or unintentional and said just as a crude joke or a casual observation. We spoke to some of the ladies to find out which are the most hurtful/annoying things people have told them and how did they react to it.

Amrrita Banerjee, a single mother to beautiful girl and a banker by profession says, “The absolute unkind thing someone ever said to me was that you shall never be happy in your life!  Obviously hurt by the statement, I did not allow the other person to get the pleasure of that. So I smiled and said happiness is but a state of mind and nobody can manipulate my thought or take it away from me”.

Suchitra Laxman, Senior Executive with a Top Consulting Firm gets very annoyed when fitness enthusiasts start commenting on other people’s lack of fitness and start doling out fitness solution “You don’t have to make fun of someone to feel bad about it. That’s like saying my aunt is passionate about everyone getting married and keeps asking all unmarried people why you are not married yet. Money, career, relationships, looks, health, fitness are all aspects of personal life. Not something people should casually discuss. People understand this about career, relationships etc. But not about fitness! People can have different priorities. And it’s ok. Problem is when you start judging others for having different priorities. And worse is when you start openly speaking about those different priorities.”

Dipty Gurjar, an Entrepreneur says, ”People casually comment on a lot of things not just the body.”  she gets angry with people who try to belittle one by saying “Whats with you, you have a business, you must have a lot of free time on hand.” She says running a business is anything besides ‘free time’.

Our EIC Srushti Rao usually gets pissed with people who comment on other people’s physical traits. She says, “Because of my work I end up meeting a lot of people on a daily basis, imagine meeting someone and the person saying ‘you seem to have gained weight’ EVERY bloody TIME. Don’t know for what joy. It’s annoying. Then they would dissect every feature/aspect and comment. And gods forbid if you have a zit. That’s the first thing one would comment on. Its like – yah dude, that’s the first thing I saw in the morning too. Don’t rub it in”.

Sudipta Roy, a teacher who teaches high school Maths finds a regular comment made by her husband in jest during their every meal, rather discomforting. She says “this happens every dinner time, if I take a second helping of food, my husband quips that don’t eat so much you are becoming like a balloon. And then he laughs loudly and is joined by my mother in law. One day I became angry and told him to look at himself in the mirror and see how he looks and then tell me about mine (sic). He realized I was upset and now he tries not to make that joke in particular”.

Sohini Maitra, our Editor also chipped in with her incident of unkind behaviour. “I have heard many unkind things in my life but one of the worst was from one of my relative who in general is a very nice person. However, during my carefree single days, she was almost always a butt hurt saying things like since I am not agreeing to get married I am hurting my mom and cursing her to hell as I am not allowing her to fulfil her duties as a mom. Once after such a ranting session I retaliated by telling her that at least you will have company in hell if I am sending my mom there. Infinite water works started and I got yelled at by mom. That’s where it ended… obviously she is not in talking terms with me now”!!!!

It does not cost a dime to be kind and tolerant towards others. As a practice one must at least try not to hurt people, because it is very easy to say things which may be funny to you but heart breaking for the person they are intended for. What people think as casual/random banter may be a struggle for the other person. Drawing lines and boundaries in conversations, unless you know the person very well, is important and polite behaviour.

Do share with us below in the comments section below some of the unkind things people have said to you just for fun sake, and how did you react to it!

Image Courtesy – Pinterest (Main image & the last image)