Adoption – Not a last resort…

India is the second most-populated country in the world and is on its way to become number one. Not a fact any Indian wants to be proud of! And still, adopting a child to become part of our family is a decision taken by a small percentage of people in our country. Most are held back by the deep-rooted conditioning that the society has had on our upbringing and the social stereotypes we have grown up believing, without a question.

Adoption is not a ’cause’ that needs promotion. It is just a decision taken by a family. This article doesn’t intend to encourage or create awareness. We just intend to point out certain thought processes which need to change.

Myth: Adoptive parents are unable to bear children of their own.

Fact: Adoption is no longer looked upon as a ‘last resort’ for married couples who are unable to have a biological child. Many times, children are adopted by singles (women as well as men) and even married couples adopt a child before or after having a biological child of their own.

Myth: Adoption is a noble act.

Fact: It works on the same principle as giving birth to your own biological children. You are prepared to be parents and want to provide a positive and wholesome life to your child. Nobody is doing anybody a favour.

Myth: Blood matters.

Fact: Thanks to the rising levels of educations, certain parts of this thinking are changing. People now know that blood type has nothing to do with family background. But, that same education has brought a new thinking. One might say that the child may get any genetic traits and any abnormalities from its birth parents. Please understand that genetics is more complicated than this. Even your own child could be born with certain genetic traits which you may not even know existed in your gene pool. Maybe the adopted child would turn out a prodigy, or a gifted artist! Giving children a good upbringing and a positive environment is what matters most. That is what their background. Becomes and this is all a part of being ready for parenthood, irrespective of whether the children are your own or adopted.

Myth: The biological mother must be heartless.

Fact: Someone who decided to put her child’s happiness before her own and let the child be adopted deserves respect. Once you have decided to take the child into your own home and family, given him or her your name, there is no point in judging the woman who could not care for her own. You don’t know her circumstances and your child should be brought up to think positively about his or her birth parents.

Myth: The biological parents would come back to claim their child.

Fact: Adoption is a well-regulated, legal procedure. The birth parents would no longer have the right to demand their child back once the legal process is completed.

Myth: If I tell my child about him/her being adopted, they would leave me. Or it would scar them.

Fact: Adoption is not a crime which needs to be hidden. Even actual crimes don’t stay hidden forever and get discovered some day. If your child finds out through another means, THAT may scar them. The child should be made aware of their adopted status from a young age and in a gradual manner. As much as possible, they should not have a single day or conversation as a memory when the big revelation was made. It should be something they have always known growing up.

There are many other thought processes which need to undergo change. As a society, we are already going through some really positive changes and I am hoping that the points listed above would start sounding silly in a few years time.

Note: Kindly go through all legal procedures from qualified professionals before the actual adoption. This article is for social reading purpose and cannot be considered as a final decision for any such procedure.