I have been very angry this past week. Not just angry but disgusted, sad, appalled, outraged and terribly disappointed. The Bangalore mass molestation case following which came in the video of one woman being molested in her own residential colony was a disconcerting start of the New Year. As women we have been shouting hoarse about our safety, we did get reassurances multiple times that the authorities have a handle on things, but then incidences like these happen.

Despite these prevailing issues, and men very clearly knowing, that we need to work in synch with them to address it, we see a barrage of unapologetic #NotAllMen excuses. The level of disgust I feel towards these turds is beyond explanation.  While we were reeling from these obnoxious comments comes a gem from one of our Political Leaders that the women, and solely the women are responsible for such an incident because, they are too westernized, read dressed in short clothes and drunk, to be treated with respect. Sir, no woman, and I mean NO WOMAN, needs to be put through the trauma that women in our country are put through on a daily basis.

I have to just make a few points that I am listing herewith:

STOP VICTIM BLAMING: Stop blaming the women for being groped, teased, molested, assaulted, harassed and raped. Women of all ages, religions, cultural background, clothing choices are being victimized. So the common factor is not the ‘western dresses’ it is the mentality of the perpetrator who ‘knows’ he will get away with it.

IT’S NOT THE WESTERN CULTURE INFLUENCE: What’s the ‘western culture’ influence? Just that the women want to live like fellow humans? May I say that women had a better standing, immense independence, were more skimpily dressed many centuries before on this very land? That is our culture. Not the one that blames women and suppresses them to second grade human existence.

ITS NOT ABOUT #NOTALLMEN: The crimes against women are not about #NOTALLMEN being assholes. The crimes against women are because that man who has not himself physically harmed a woman, has stood as a mute spectator when his friends teased girls in school, then in college and later on when they became men. It is that man who feared being called a sissy for reprimanding his fellow male species when it was needed. It is that man who would ‘drop his date home’ but would not stop his friends from talking ill about an unknown woman. So men, you are all responsible, one way or the other. Stop gloating about in the fact that you haven’t wronged a woman, just introspect your life and you would know.

YES IT’S ABOUT #YESALLWOMEN: All women, yes, ALL WOMEN, have been groped, teased, molested, assaulted or harassed in their lifetime. And no, women don’t ‘ask for it’ or we don’t ‘enjoy being eve teased’. After this story broke out and women started sharing their stories, my heart cringed at the sheer number of women who has experienced sexual harassment at some point in their life. Many women, and my heart bleeds saying, many women I know have been raped. By their own relatives. Shame on you men. An 8 year old girl is not ‘asking for it’, she trusts you, and all you do is take inappropriate advantage of that and commit a heinous crime. Shame on you men.

C FOR CONSENT: Consent. Consent. Consent. You want to touch a woman? Take consent. Period.

I am not a psychological expert, at least not yet, to write on the measures we can take to prevent these things from happening but as a mother I know I will and urge other to






And men, stop flattering yourself with that undeserving crown of #NotAllMen that you have placed on your heads and start doing something.



  1. Deepali Tiwari says:

    It is enraging to see wht is happening in this country. Every now and then news of crime against women. It is upsetting.

  2. Shonali Mitra says:

    Such arrogance from men. True not all men are scums but no need of blowing your own trumpet!

  3. Roshni James says:

    Great article! Thanks for sharing exactly what I feel…

  4. Rhea D'Souza says:

    I just read this today…. so true. All women in their lifetime has been cat called, groped, pinched or had an encounter of some sort of sexual harrasment in their lives. This is shameful!!!

Leave a Reply