Mom : “I made you practice so much but still you did not manage to get a part in the dance in the school group dance competition, why are you so laid back? Look at your best friend, he’s got through.”
Child: “But I tried really hard mom!”
Mom : ( sarcastically)”Yes I can see that”
The story goes on…..
In today’s world we forcefully prepare children for the first place, highest grade, juiciest role in school play or dance, first prize in fancy dress or sports or any competition, highest score in subjects…Where does it end?
Do we think about the second, third or average, the effort and hard work of the child, their personal disappointments? So we prepare our kids to “win only” in the race of life for everything but what if they tried their best but still failed or couldn’t get the first spot?
We need to prepare kids not just to win but also to get up after they fall with the same enthusiasm. The kids need to understand that things may break, but can be mended and sometimes it is better to bend than break. We need to teach them to survive not just the good but the bad and the ugly as well.
Yes just like the ABBA song “The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall…but the story doesn’t end there? It actually starts from there.
We need to prepare the kids for better or for worse. If you have put in your all and the kid too however destiny has other plans and you miss the first prize spot by a few points that does not mean the end of the world. Achieving the second spot and competing itself is a big thing. This has to be psychologically conditioned not just for parents but all educational institutions and professional places and competitive sports.
Competition is to hone your skills see your plus and minus, not to let you down but to pull you up. However, nowadays there is societal, parental, educational, professional pressure just to be on the top or nothing. All this in the name of competition!!!
This crooked culture needs straightening out and this can only start with the educational, professional and vocational institutes changing their attitude and consumerism way of propagation. Promoting all fields of careers will make them economically viable and more supply and demand will be established rather than just marketing certain so called sort after vocations.
You should be proud and encouraging whether the child chooses to be a singer or an engineer or a teacher or a counselor. There is dignity to all professional choices taken up, direction to be given to prepare methodically for it and then flourish in the field. All things take a bit of struggle and that is what our children need to learn.
Knowledge is just not books and high scores; it’s in all things like in nature, carpentry, becoming a stand-up comedian. All choices are enriching once the child knows his or her calling, there should be no holding back. The right direction and resources and no holds bar moral support from family, friends and teachers will lead to a success story.
So next time you get upset for your kid not getting the first rank and getting a second or a third instead or your kid wanting to be a dancer and not a doctor, think about your child’s aspirations and prepare them not just to succeed but to take the good with the bad,will you?
Image courtesy – http://www.themobsociety.com/
- Pooja Guha-Bansode
- February 21, 2018
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