Overheard a conversation the other day
Lady number one – ‘But she is an outsider how would she know.’
‘Yes, she just has no sense of how to do things, also, she has no say in this matter, she shouldn’t talk.’ replies lady number two rolling her eyes.
These were two women discussing a third woman. The woman in question is the one who is married to the younger brother-in-law (of the lady one) and brother (of lady two). I know this for a fact that the woman they are discussing has been married for over two decades.
There is this underlying family politics that happens in all families, the one mentioned above is no less. Although more and more women are stepping out and picking up more responsibilities than just the home and humans of the house, but they are still tied in with the strings of all things family and the politics that comes with it.
Although I didn’t intervene in the above mentioned conversation, since I know most of the people involved I felt rather uneasy with this exchange. Not only in the corporate space but women definitely need to stick together in other spaces too. It is heartbreaking that a woman who is married into a family for over two decades in a family is casually termed as an ‘outsider’ by another woman who married into the same family maybe 5 years before. So where does a woman belong at the end of it. Urban cities notwithstanding, people from smaller towns/cities still believe that once they marry off their daughters, the parent’s house is no more hers. Further when she is treated as an ‘outsider’ even in her married home, imagine where she would go.
A woman would work relentlessly to make this house her home, without due credit, and yet have no say in family matters because she wasn’t born in the house and her only claim to fame is the marital association. There is so many form of oppression, and a lot of it is done by the family members behind closed doors. This silent torment can neither be reported nor quantified. I know for a fact that such taunts, constant verbal afflictions can cause severe mental discord to the sufferer.
Point of the matter is women, whether as part of the workforce or a large family set-up, need to stick with each other. Day to day human conflicts is normal and can be battled, however, the larger scheme of things it is important to empower each other rather than invalidate and demean.
- Srushti Rao
- November 3, 2017
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