What is happiness? How do we achieve it? What causes it to disappear? How do we regain it? Is there a formula?
Guys… it is not rocket science. A perpetual state of feeling content about self and emotional well being is what makes us happy. Now I understand that it is easier said than done. Our lives are a mish-mash of both negativity and positivity. We must understand that life is not going to be all bed of roses. Some amount of misery and unhappiness is inevitable. Also, unless we suffer the bad parts we usually do not value the good parts. This is human nature. It is completely our business to strain out the negativity and concentrate on the being positive. As long as that wheel is in motion our happiness quotient is on point. However, we are mere mortals and staying happy always is nearly impossible.
Experts say that there are a million ways to regain the emotional and mental composure. Many believe that happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next but also involves considerable amounts of discomfort.
1st step of becoming a happy person is to find out what is making us unhappy. Many times it is us who are making our own lives miserable.
Creating & dwelling upon scenarios which may or not happen in the future
Example: “What if my parents fall ill when I am out of town”? “What would I do if I travel to a place and meet with an accident”?
Self depreciation and not in a funny way
Example: “I hate myself”… “I am a failure”… “What the hell is wrong with me, why can’t I do this?”
Blaming self for things which are beyond your control
Example: “It is my fault that I am treated badly”
Blaming everyone for my own failures and mistakes
These can be, with some hard & smart work, be fixed by you
“It is your (Father) fault that I cannot speak English well. You made me study in a regional medium school”… “She cheated on me; it is her fault that I have lost the will to do anything”
Not being true to self
Whether it is a person’s private, social or professional life, he or she has the right to do whatever provides satisfaction. Many a times, we have to let go of things which gives us satisfaction, due to any given reasons in life. In such cases, we must find out alternate things that makes us at least half-happy because half-happy is better than complete sad…
Things that make me happy are simple pleasures. I consider small wins to be equally celebratory as the giant wins of life. Small pleasures are equally fun like going out for tiramisu or watching a comedy or a rom-com movie OR playing with the dogs (These buggers get excited for no reason at all and can play with you as long as you want).
Hoping that all of us learn to value ourselves for who we are and stay happy…
- Sohini Maitra
- March 20, 2018
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