I’ve met many unlucky fathers in my life who missed out on the green stuff that your new-born offers you as a gift. It throws back memories of the movie MIB (Men in Black) where Will Smith acts as the mid wife and gives birth to a couple of alien babies. The surprise element in that scene is that a human looking lady suddenly transforms into an alien and then the audience sees Will clutching two innocent baby aliens. Then one of the aliens squirts off some stuff on him. This sequence is kind of etched in the memory.
No wonder when you look at the green poo, immediately you have a side glance at your wife and the baby and it’s only after some serious logical conclusion, you dispense off any alien involvement in the creation of this cute looking, tiny baby. In fact, we got so puzzled and rattled by this innocuous looking yet abnormal stuff that we called the doctor for help, guidance and (maybe) cleaning.
We got all the help but for the last part. I had the honour of doing with a cotton swab and probably it was the defining moment of my parenthood.
“The realisation that I have clean the shit (literally) for years and take up his problems for years to come dawned on me”.
It’s been long since that greenish stuff and other kinds of stuff yet the bond that was established between a relaxed child post clean-up and his father cum ‘cleaner’ was critical in building the relationship. Often, I come across fathers who abhor doing this and in fact they are away for a few months post-delivery to give the desired rest to mother and child at his in-laws place. Is this a tradition? I believe then we need to question why this came into place because the more I look at the current scenario of increasing work pressures, undue stress of social media, smart phone games and overall lack of verbal communication … both parents need to slug it out.
And herein the green matter is critical. Overcoming that fear, idiosyncrasies is critical. It paves the way for three types of parenting ahead.
You know-it-all. Most of us have seen it, observed it and felt it. Thou shall not be close to me, thou shall thank god and respect me for the food on the table, thou shall do what I tell you to do in matters that are important and hope that matters don’t become too important … so on and so forth.
I’m here to cuddle you as a kid,
I’m here to pamper you as my child,
I’m here to take you to malls, gardens, markets and won’t allow you to take any fall,
I’m here for you for your demands of toys, gadgets and junk food,
I’m here for you because you are my child, my friend.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a definition of a balanced father. Maybe it’s somewhere between pampering and disciplining, between reprimanding and rewarding, between father and a friend … this is where I say that the green stuff plays a key role. If you haven’t done it, then maybe there are ways to make that bond stronger.
‘Fatherhood – Feel it, Own it and live with it’ ~ Baba Rishi
Image courtesy – Clipartsgram, Clipartkid, Pinterest
- Rishi Arya
- March 29, 2017
- 2 Comment