I decided to take a parlour appointment. It’s been long. So all in the name of ‘me- time’, I fix a day.
Entering the parlour dot on time but am still made to wait. Being reassured that I’m next till the next half an hour.
Finally it is my turn and I am asked to change. Shed most of my weight, in clothes that is. I have high hopes that today I shall transform into a pink dazzling ballerina from a hairy ugly witch.
As regular norms go for parlour ladies, there she goes suggesting that my skin is too dry then suddenly back flips and sighs why did I moisturise as the wax strip will slip up. I mean girl decide what you want to say don’t confuse me. Either having dry skin is a curse or moisturizing dry skin is a bigger crime.
The horror of waxing starts! OH GAWD!!!!!!! Why do I want to go through this? What masochistic pleasure do I get? I have all these questions running through my mind while the woman mercilessly rips the waxing strips off my body. I can almost feel a silent evil laughter coming out of her belly.
Well after the ordeal is over she demands that I should every nook and corner of my body for any stray hair. I mean how I am supposed to check my entire body that too at such short notice. No microscope. So I nod in approval, just fine I think.
Next comes the threading part; A real tearjerker. I do not wish to sport a moustache and I don’t want any laser treatment either. So I gathered that threading is lesser of all evils. So taking the almighty’s name we start. By the end of it I was in 2 minds — whether to kill myself or murder the lady doing the threading.
Then it is facial time. That is the best part! I get to sleep for 45 to 60 minutes straight with all kinds of creams, gels, etc., being applied on me and various aromas being sniffed. Being assured that I’ll glow like the sun within the next few hours, I doze off in relief.
Last but not the least is the mani- pedi. No! They are not some fraternal twins or people but short for manicure for hands and pedicure for legs. The name actually makes me think like I got a disease to get rid off and this is the only cure.
The ladies give me hot water and ask me if it’s not too hot. Are you kidding? You want burn me but be kind as well. Of course it’s hot. Then comes the massage part where she is doing it robustly and asking me if it’s hurting. Girl slow down and go light on the pressure, don’t need any nerves bursting. Finally the nail paint comes on.
I look like a fresh portrait. Only to comeback and go through this procedure again in a month or two.
It’s a bumpy road to looking and feeling nice. Not necessarily defining the standard of what beauty is or should be. It can be a ritual for some, a job necessity for others, a hygiene related decision for many or even societal pressure to some, for few it is a get away from daily boredom, a feeling of freshness to another, a way of life for some or just another task off the to do list. To each their own! No judgements please.
- Pooja Guha-Bansode
- February 1, 2018
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