Are We Loving Them Or Spoiling Them?

Most parents wish to give their children all the things they could never have themselves but some parents go overboard in doing so which in turn spoils the kids. Here are a few pointers that need your attention before things go out of hand.

  1. A King or a Queen: We need to make our kids feel special but within limits. We don’t have to give in to all of their demands and drawing a line is a must. Restrictions and boundaries are meant to make our children more likable and shall keep them away from being rude and arrogant. They need to handle their chores and responsibilities and as a parent it is our duty to guide them through it all. Making them feel like kings and queens will only hamper their development and have negative consequences.
  1. are-we-loving-them-or-spoiling-them-spoilt-brat-imageNo Spoilt Brats: Although we wish to give our kids the best, entrusting them with a lot of money or expensive gadgets and jewelry will be absolutely incorrect on our part. Not only will the child have difficulty handling it but will soon stop valuing things and cease from being thankful for anything. Also, choose what you should be giving your child. Differentiate between needs and wants. Just because your child is bored of his toy, do not bring him a new one to stop his whining. Gifts are to be given as a sign of appreciation. Get them gifts when they deserve one.
  1. Gratefulness: Teach your children to understand the importance of everything they are being given and to be thankful for what they receive so that they never feel that they deserve everything and do not owe anyone anything. Explain to them the importance of being appreciative and inculcate in them the habit of saying “thank you”.
  1. Not letting them Work: Some parents care too much for their children and stop them from working. Work experience is essential and every person needs to understand the importance of earning a living. Parents need to understand the benefits of work experience and its importance in terms of success.
  1. Giving Back: Some people believe in ‘giving back to the world’ while some aren’t aware of its benefits. It is a good deed to always return a favor, a kind gesture or whatever you receive from others. Do not stop your children from giving away something to others or from volunteering in deed or by way of charity.
  1. Lead by Example: Parents should not go on complaining in front of their children. Instead they should be examples of responsibility and good conduct for their kids. Children look up to us parents and we need to lead by example.
  1. Consequences: It is often found in joare-we-loving-them-or-spoiling-them-consequences-imageint families that the grandparents come to the rescue of a child who is facing consequences for a wrongdoing. This is a very bad trait and should never happen. Not holding the child accountable for mistakes will surely spoil the child, whereas consequences along with an explanation making the child understand where and why he/ she went wrong makes the child learn from the mistake.


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  1. Ritu says:

    Absolutely agree with each an every point.

  2. Nandini Rai says:

    True… I used to think that by not making them work I am giving them a better life, but the plan backfired when I was in the hospital and my teenager could not make a single dish to feed himself and his Dad while his Dad was stuck at the hospital for me. Now he is learning to cook a simple meal to sustain himself if he finds himself in a spot…

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